i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
