I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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