You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
