She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
