After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
