Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
