I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
