real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize