So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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