If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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