I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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