FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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