Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
