I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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