i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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