Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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