This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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