im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
operation harelip BJ is a go
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
