Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
