is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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