But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's shark week go big or go home
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
