i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
