They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
