So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
