if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
