You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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