Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You can't just leave with hair like that
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
