I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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