worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize