Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
