True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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