Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
