I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
