I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
