Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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