i think my tv is drunk
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
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