Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
