the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
