She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I love having hate sex.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am one with the molecules
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize