So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
