If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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