im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
