okay pat passed out under dana's car
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
