Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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