that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Randomize
