i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You pole danced in your parka.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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