i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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