it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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