Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize