just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
