imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
pop tarts are not kleenex
bring money and cleavage
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
