i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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