Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
