I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
