Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
you made out with another girl for some wings
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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