HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I cannot find my penis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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