In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
