Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize