Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
