So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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