Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
