goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
