Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
