Quick, to the slutcave!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
