How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
