There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
