His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
