The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize