This is not my ceiling
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
