So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
