my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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