Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
