im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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