Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize