He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
